10 reasons why Les Pauls are better than girlfriends/women (in no specific order).

1. Les Pauls are okay with being left in a case or on a stand.

2. Les Pauls don't mind being touched, ever.

3. Les Pauls always have classy curves.

4. Les Pauls can be silenced by the turning of a switch/knob/button.

5. A Les Paul MAY be expensive but it requires less fundage than a lady would. (Trust me on this, I've crunched the numbers (wearing crazy accountants hat and pulling that lever to show that I am INDEED crunching the numbers))

6. Les Pauls don't say things like, "stop that, it hurts! Or Oh EM EF GEE, Not tonight, or even the classic, No I'm not going to make you a sandwich."

7. Les Pauls aren't dick discriminators.

8. A Les Paul will help you get women while a woman will make it harder to get more women. (This strongly depends on your skill as a guitarist and as a lover).

9. Les Pauls don't have minds or legs, so, in turn, they can't wake up one morning, decide they don't love you, then walk out the door.

10. A Les Paul doesn't start bleeding once a month and get all pissy towards you.